So here's the inspiration (so to speak). Pretty appalling. I used Lotta Jansdotter's Simple Sewing book as further inspiration, but followed my own pattern.
I had this great vintage thrifted cafe curtain from which I removed the trim.
I then cut insulation from an old felted wool sweater. Next time I'll use two layers, because as Frank puts it, the one layer merely delays the painful burn :)
An old sheet as the inner lining.
And the finished product. Aren't they cute? Even if not completely effective.